When I am stuck at home, I will go

When there are bloggers in Nicaragua, and Ann Voskamp is in Uganda, when your friend just came back from the Dominican Republic, and your other friend is getting ready to fly to Mexico again, you begin to wonder if you will ever go.  You read the posts and stories.  You see the photos, the smiles.  And you are so happy for them.  But you wonder, will it ever be me?  Will I ever go?

And right now, that's me.  I sit here and wonder, and I don't know.  But I wish and dream and pray and hope and think.

I wonder if I will ever go.  My heart longs to be in Mexico or Ecuador or Uganda.  I want to live with them.  I don't want to see them on my screen.  I am tired of hearing about it.  I want to do it.  I want to live with the poor.

I want to live with them.

I want to eat what they eat.  I want to not care about what I will wear or do.  I just want to love on the little kids.  I want to play with them.  I want to tell them face-to-face that I love them.  And that Jesus loves them. I want to be with them and love on them and just live among them.

But right now, I can't.  Right now, I stare into my screen and I am transported to Nicaragua or Uganda.  And I struggle.  Because I long to be where they are, I get kinda get jealous.  I see the people who go.  Some are semi-famous.  Others have blogs with 1000s of followers.  They write eloquently and inspire others.

Me?  Nope, I am not like them.  I am just a teen girl trying to make a difference, trying to live for Jesus, live like Jesus.

But I don't want to be the hands and feet of Jesus in my home.  I don't want to help my sister study or my mom clean the pool.  I don't want to pick up the yard....or my room.  I don't want to make supper.

No, I want to go.  When I want to sell all I have and go, I can't.  I have to stay.  I have to let others transport me over oceans and deserts now.

Cause until I can learn how to live like Jesus when I have more than I need, how can I go and live like Him when I am tired and worn?  When I have no energy and people still get on my nerves?

So for now, I sit and I stare.  I look and I cry.  And I write my letters, because I can love on them from here for now.

And right now, some lovely bloggers are taking me to Nicaragua.

Christy Jordan @ Southern Plate - Blogger
Edie @ Life In Grace - Blogger
Kelly @ Faithful Provisions - Blogger
Traci @ Beneath My Heart - Blogger
Mike Varel @ Mike Varel Digital Storytelling - Photographer/Videographer
Brianne McKoy @ Compassion Blog - Leader
Shaun Groves @ ShaunGroves.com - Leader
Keely Scott @ KeelyMarieScott.com - Photographer


So won't you follow along?  Click HERE to go to Nicaragua.